Oh man, sometimes God has to beat me upside the head with something He’s telling me before I get it. Anybody else? No, just me? For the last week I have read this passage at least 3 different times “by chance”.
It’s in Matthew 8:28-34:
“28 When He (Jesus) arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes,[a] two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met Him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. 29 “What do You want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have You come here to torture us before the appointed time?”30 Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. 31 The demons begged Jesus, “If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.”
32 He said to them, “Go!” So, they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water. 33 Those tending the pigs ran off, went into the town and reported all this, including what had happened to the demon-possessed men. 34 Then the whole town went out to meet Jesus. And when they saw Him, they pleaded with Him to leave their region.”
These people, the WHOLE town, saw Jesus’s power and saw His miracle and BEGGED Him to leave. And, He’s been showing it to me over and over and over again because I do this!! I ask Jesus for things and I pray that His will will be done.
But sometimes, when it gets a little crazy or seems a little scary, I say to Him silently, “well… maybe not THAT part of Your will…maybe not right now. Can you leave THAT part behind?”
I do this. I pray EVERY DAY for God’s will to be done in my life, but after two miscarriages in 4 months, I say “Well, maybe not THAT part of Your will.” And, in my head I think, “Do you need my help in that area?” And even if I don’t say it, thinking it is JUST as sinful.
Today, God hit me over the head with this realization and He showed me that He has been giving me gentle nudges for over a week. So today, I repented and begged for His forgiveness, and in my weakness, He was faithful to remind me that His grace is sufficient even for me. Yes, for me. For all of us. And He is so near to us when we call on Him (Psalm 145:18). I’m so thankful. I’m so thankful, because I WANT ALL of His will to be done. I NEED ALL of Him every day, and not just the little bit I think I need to get by or I can see, but ALL of Him. I NEED all of His will to be done in my life every hour of every day. We all do, and praise God His grace is sufficient for us.
Oh God, thank you that you are the God who chases after us and convicts our spirit when we need it. Thank you for your unconditional love and your overwhelming grace that covers all of our sin. Mold us and teach us to follow You fully and to truly desire for ALL of YOUR will to be done, whatever that looks like. Help us to fully trust You and seek You with our whole hearts each day. I love you. Amen.