I’ve seen the widened eyes when the topic is mentioned in a Christian setting. I have heard the whispers of disgust and judgment about “those people”. I know that the “accepted church culture” is to do what we do best and ignore it. I know this is not something that we, the church, feel is important for us to address, but my question is WHY NOT?! If not us, then who? If we do not take a stand for the thousands of marriages that are falling apart each minute, then no one will. If we do not address porn addiction, infidelity, lust, coveting another’s spouse within marriages, it will NOT get better any time soon. So what are WE, the church, going to do about it?!? What did Jesus do about it? One thing is for sure… He did NOT ignore it.
In John 4, Jesus addresses the woman at the well with VERY exact details of her sin. He speaks to her core when He says, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true” in verses 17 and 18. He not only loves her wholeheartedly, but he addresses her sinful lifestyle. It is evident by the story that she is convicted and likely questioning if there something more. If Jesus was so willing to ask about sinful details of her life in order to share the promise of hope with her, didn’t He love her well?! When are we, the Church, going to realize that loving others WHOLEHEARTEDLY means being real with them and truly knowing them. Not only knowing them, but it means asking about their life, even the sinful details, because we WANT the BEST for them! We want to encourage them to live a life that truly worships God as stated in Romans 12:1-2. We WANT to tell them that there IS more to life. There is MORE to life than being so alone at night in an broken marriage that you cry yourself to sleep. There is MORE to life than being so addicted to pornography that you rely on it to get you through each day. There is MORE to life than a secret affair that leaves you empty and confused. There is MORE, and the reason is because that is NOT the life God designed for you and He truly does love you. Romans 8 promises us that nothing can separate us from Christ.
“37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
It truly breaks my heart. Marriage in America is NOT ok. As a whole, our marriages are “picture perfect” and EMPTY without God at the center of them. Husbands are working long hours and hardly ever home, so they can afford the lifestyle that seems to make them ‘comfortable’ and fulfills the “American Dream”. Wives are complaining about their husbands working too much, maybe even working too much themselves, and left feeling alone and empty. Children are LONGING for their parents to spend time with them, while parents are longing for the other to desire them again. Yall, this “American Dream” is breaking my heart to see portrayed. Is this really what we ‘dream’ of? No, it’s not! And it’s not what God dreamed for us either.
We have got to do something , and I’m looking at you, Church. Marriage is hard, but it IS worth the fight! We, the church, need to take a stand. We have been silent on important issues for far too long! Own your marriage. Wives, submit to your husband (Ephesians 5:22-23) and do the small things that make him happy. And I’m just going to be real for a minute here, have SEX and enjoy it! Why has sex become something we hang over our husbands? That is NOT how God intended it to be.
Enjoy sex with your husband. It is beautiful and awesome and fun, and SHAME on the Church for scaring us into thinking otherwise. Husbands, love your wives like God loves the church (Ephesians 5:25) selflessly and wholeheartedly. But more importantly, Please love God above ALL else (Matthew 22:37-38 and Mark 12:30). Because at the end of the day, God is the ONLY thing that gives our marriage meaning and value. Without him, we have no hope and we long for fulfillment. The Ashley Madison leak is a perfect example of people longing to be fulfilled and searching for hope that can only be found in Christ. Church, please share the HOPE you have in HIM. Rejoice in your marriage. Enjoy your spouse- share secrets, take trips, go on adventures, have date nights, plan surprises, and make time for each other. Have great sex and enjoy it! Be a light to those around you for Jesus. He brought you and your spouse together for a reason.. SHARE your story and LOVE each other.